Are All the Best Guys Spoofs?

I knew it was too good to be true. I have to believe that most of the guys found on these online dating sites are real, but fact is, some are not, and I am beginning to be able to spot them before they spoof me. It has taken some time and training, but I am learning.

First thing to look for in detecting a spoof is your own reaction of “he looks too good”–whether the picture or the written profile, and usually both. Let’s face it, the picture gets your attention, and spoof designers know this–they go out and find a picture from somewhere–anywhere, as it turns out. Pictures can come from magazines, web sites, print ads, books–the sky’s the limit, so spoofers go for and get the best.

Then the profile. The spoof profiles are well written and spoofers know how to spell. This is most often not the case with normal profiles or normal men. And these spoof profiles are entertaining–women are drawn in.

The first spoofer I encountered was an alleged construction company owner from Boise. Windblown blond hair, blue eyes, and an engaging smile that spoke as much of the boy as of the man. The profile was endearing–he claimed to be Peter Pan trapped in a man’s body. Women in Boise couldn’t believe their good luck.

Two weeks later and Peter Pan appeared again–but now he was in Salt Lake City. No mention of any move in his profile, however…and hadn’t just a few minor details been changed to erase any trace of Idaho? So, OK, he moved and just didn’t bother to mention it.

But wait, this Peter Pan really did know how to fly. The next time I saw him he was back in Boise…and then he turned up in Seattle…and the next stop, before he disappeared completely, was Las Vegas–maybe he crash landed into one of those fake Venetian canals.

Then there was Xman. He was from Florida. He had a model-like head shot…hadn’t I seen it somewhere before? His profile described every woman’s dream man. He did gourmet cooking–for charity, no less. He said he had enough cats to possibly be considered weird–and he loved them. He cried at sad movies, sad news reports, sad friends–anything sad–the guy was sensitive! And although he had a managerial position as some high-powered corporate accountant with a high–powered income to match, he was also an artist and exhibited his photography in weekend shows around Florida. He didn’t watch sports on TV and, and, and… The guy was so near to being perfect that any straight thinking woman had to wonder if he were not really gay. In less than a week his profile had disappeared completely, perhaps confirming these same doubts about the guy’s authenticity.

Ten days later he was back–but wait again. Now he was in LA…and wait yet again, he was 2 years younger, 2 inches shorter, his eyes had changed from brown to blue, and that was just the beginning of his alleged transformation–yet the picture remained the same.

His profile was completely different, although written in a similar style–it was well written, had no misspelled words, and it was entertaining. Who was this guy–or was it a guy at all? Visions of a roomful of women–or a group of gay guys–having a great time with this began dancing in my head.

I decided to write to him and find out what I could. I wrote and ‘he’–whoever ‘he’ was–responded–incensed that I had referred to his previous manifestation as a Florida man. He denied knowledge of his Florida self, of course. Perhaps he has a mental disorder that keeps him from knowing or, perhaps, as he claimed, someone had stolen (his) picture.

I may never know, but I will be on the lookout for his next incarnation–at this rate he will have dozens more, not only in my lifetime, but by the end of the month.

And then there was The Band of Six–six men from Pensacola, three of whom I stumbled across individually before finding the whole band listed one after the other when I did a search for Pensacola. Each was in his early 40’s, professional, active, and attractive–and all were searching for women between 35 and 55–a wider than usual age range. Apparently they had all joined at the same time as the “New” banner was placed above each of their heads in the profile listings.

One week later they all were gone from the site–just like that. I’m betting that they were all married and had a bet with their wives to see which one of them could attract the greatest number of responses. As a group they were too good to be true…and quite obviously, totally unavailable.

Is anyone surprised? Are all the best guys spoofs? The case for that seems to be mounting, although I’m still looking for evidence to the contrary.