Re-Thinking Gloria

I had the strangest phone call last night. It was from a new friend that I met a couple of weeks ago and with whom I seemed to have a kind of instant rapport. You know the kind–where the conversation flows without effort and there are so many topics to explore that you can’t get the words out fast enough. The two of you agree on just about everything to the point that it seems you must have been soul mates in another life and are now just picking up where you previously had left off. Her name is Gloria. We met while volunteering at a horse rescue facility and shared a love of animals.

Gloria and I had spoken once again following our initial meeting, at least the initial meeting of this lifetime, and the conversation was as it had been that first time–fast and free–flowing with more things to say than either of us had time for. Then came the call last night.

It started out the same way–so much to say about everything imaginable. It seemed, though, that after the first five minutes, this call had another purpose. It seemed that Gloria had a friend–who happened to be male, single, straight, and my age (a fairly unusual combination in my experience)–that she said she wanted to introduce me to.

It was clear that the intent of this proposed meeting would be to see if there might be some kind of chemistry between this man friend and me. Somewhat intrigued, I was, at the same time, very much on guard.

When has anyone ever introduced me to someone that I felt any kind of romantic spark for? The answer to that is never. I think I must put out a hard-to-read kind of vibration among my friends which gives them the impression that what attracts me to a man is the polar opposite of the actual case.

In any event, Gloria began to tell me about her friend. They have been friends for years, yet never romantically involved with each other. That was good. Also, he was tall, bright, and a hard-working professional, having started his present career later in life than most-showing a streak of free and flexible thinking not confined by conventional rules. That was good too.

But then it began. Gloria felt she should warn me about ‘a few things.’ Among them were that this guy is incredibly cheap. I asked if he might be a relative of my ex-husband’s. In line with his ‘frugal’ ways, he lives in ‘a dump’ and drives ‘a wreck’ of a car. (At least my ex-husband lived well and drove a decent vehicle.) Now, I am the last person to demand a castle and an XKE, but a dump and a wreck? That’s not my style either.

Furthermore, Gloria said, I should know that her friend doesn’t like women–well, he says he likes them, but his treatment of them tells another story. We all know this type too. He basically uses women for his convenience and then once they are no longer fitting his bill, he drops them–at his convenience.

This conversation had taken a most bizarre turn. Why would I ever want to meet a man with the idea of checking out the romantic prospects with him if he didn’t like women in the first place? And yet Gloria continued.

She continued for the next 45 minutes about her friend’s total self-absorption, his manipulative ways, and how he lies to the woman he’s involved with–although not at first, of course.

At first, Gloria assured me, her friend is totally charming and fun. Great. It’s that after awhile he resumes following his life-long pattern of self-absorbed manipulation. What was Gloria thinking of? Why was she telling me all of this? And again, why would I ever want to meet this man?

Every once in awhile, and throughout this litany, she would punctuate the maelstrom of malevolence with a mention of this man’s virtues. The only one I can remember now is intelligence, which, to me, when combined with the rest of his apparent character traits, does not turn out to be a good thing at all.

The one very good thing is that both Gloria and her man friend will be tied up for the next 6-8 weeks and won’t have any free time to do anything. That’s good, because I have decided that this proposed meeting is never going to take place. More importantly, it’s way beyond obvious that I need to totally re-think Gloria.

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